Woeful Wonderland

In French, you don’t really say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques,” which is closer to “you are missing from me.”

I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.

(Source: timorleste)

tomlinsarse:

i’m about to cry

my brother told me that only today he found out that LGBT stood for les/gay/bi/trans instead of lettuce green bacon tomato

he looked at me and he had tears in his eyes and he said in the most horrified voice

i’ve been telling people i like LGBT sandwiches okay that means i’ve been having gay sandwiches

then he started to cry and ran off and yelled

they all think i’ve had gay threesomes!!!!!

i’m actually crying omg 

taupetoupee:

unseilie:

When I was thirteen I decided that I should know what an intense electrical shock felt like, so I walked half a mile to the neighbor’s house at night and was going to touch the back of my hand to his electric fence. However, as I approached the house I saw the silhouette of him having sex with his wife through the kitchen window and I ran away.

I was not expecting that plot twist.

textposter2:

if you’re ever mugged by someone just scream ‘sWIPER NO SWIPING’ at them and by the rules of crime they have to stop

dapperasf:

applebright:

allwaswellindistrict12:

I am British I whisper as I purposely spell words with U’s.

i am canadian i whisper as i chug maple syrup and also spell words with u’s

I am AMERICAN I shout as I freedom